Category: nonfiction

Scat for the Holidays

lsn-dec

The December issue of LE SCAT NOIR is waiting for you to unwrap at THIS LINK. You’ll find lots of goodies inside.

It’s FREE, so don’t miss it.  Hell, my front page editorial is worth the price of admission!

(And please share the link if you dare.)

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UBU RAW

bus

Here’s a snippet from the transcript of my play. You can read the complete text in #216 of Le Scat Noir which is NOW AVAILABLE as a free download here.

UBU RAW: As You Like It

Unedited Transcript by Norman Conquest

Young Will and King Ubu Trump are gazing out the window of a  parked coach.

 YOUNG WILL: (sighing):  She’s still very beautiful, sire.

UBU: Let me tell you a sad tale that, to this day, troubles my soul. Once upon a time, on the Beach of the Palms, I moved on her like a feral woodchuck.

YOUNG WILL: Whoa! You did? Horny King Ubu! Yaa-haa!

UBU: I groveled, I  pawed, I nibbled,  dribbled and groped. I slobbered ‘pon  her pale flesh as at a royal feast, and yet…. And yet!… I failed!  (Bows head in shame.) Yes, yes,   I loathe to confess that I, King Ubu, did not score. How monstrous that this player here, in a scheme of passion,  was rebuffed by a common wench. Though I did my very best. Imagine!  A small-bosomed whore, spurning the advances of the  king!

YOUNG WILL: Whoa, impossible! A madwoman crossed the royal path.
UBU: Mad, tis true. And the bloom was off the virgin, too–she was married. A slut!…

***END OF EXCERPT***